The one value I wish I had the courage to live into sooner 👀Oct 02, 2023
‘Wow, your hair is so beautiful.’
That’s the first thing a wonderful woman said to me in a coffee shop the other day.
I was in Florida for an event with my husband. At first, I thought she must mean the style, but given I was wearing it straight, I thought surely not.
She was talking about my grey hair.
What y’all can’t likely see on pictures of me, is that my hair is completely natural and when you see me IRL, you can see I have fully integrated grey/light brown hair.
But just as fast she said; I love it on you, but I could never get away with it.
I looked at her and I knew that she would be exquisite with grey hair, so I told her that too.
As I walked away, I realised that I used to say the same thing about having short hair, and then years later, rocked a short hairstyle like you wouldn’t believe.
‘I love it on you, but I could never get away with it… my face is the wrong shape.'
It stemmed from a deep belief that I wasn't enough. Enough of what...? Pretty much anything.
As I reflected on it further, I realised that I used to say the same thing as I watched people take big jobs and grow in their career.
'Wow, you so deserve it, I couldn't so that, [insert reason here - too silly, too playful, too loud, not clever enough]’
Real talk? I devalued myself around others all the time. I made myself smaller, I made them better in my mind, I confirmed to myself that I was less.
Then the 'great levelling' happened.
What was the great levelling…? By becoming intentional about spending more time with people who sat at the top table of organisations I realised something magical.
They were just the same as me.
I don’t mean exactly the same obvs, but I mean they were truthfully just a bunch of humans trying to figure it out.
The only thing that divided us was that they were sitting at that top table and I wasn’t.
So I started to push, and soon it was me too. I wasn’t just at the leadership table, I was rocking it, just like that short hairstyle.
The only way I found out who I really was and got to see all of my intelligence, my power and my beauty was by being courageous. By taking a risk and putting myself out there in some way.
So my question to you, dear human, is; what’s the thing that you are admiring in others right now and thinking you can’t do…?
Those who have worked with me 1:1 will tell you, one of my favourite things to ask them is who they admire and what the values they have that they most admire about them.
Because… plot reveal, what we admire in others are the things we know deep down we have too. The values that we aren’t living into.
What did I most admire...?
I made it my mission to meet and be amongst courageous people. Heck I even married one haha.
Which means I have an eclectic community around me today of the brave and the bold; artists, musicians, Founders, leaders. All in some way putting themselves out there and being brave.
I fed off their courage and it made me feel like I had it too.
Until I had to stop lying to myself. They were just like me. I was courageous too, I just wasn’t living into it.
Now courage is a core value of mine. There’s a million things I try to avoid doing, and I force myself to do it anyway.
And amongst my courageous tribe, I’m now one of them. And I share this story because I know you are courageous too.
Think of three people you admire right now, either ones you know or people in the public eye. What’s the thing you most admire in them…?
You might want to think about that.
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